Jessica Sanchez - Dance With My Father Again - Complete Video Top 6

I guess only an angelic voice like hers can turn even the most broken heart around!!!I never listened to this song ever since dad left me for St. Peter - his cockfighting batchmate! But when Jessica sang it - it felt like, I just have to listen and remember dad. A mixed emotions of how I miss him and how happy I was when I was with him. 

TATAY'S 7th anniversary in heaven

Today is April 9, 2012... a lot of years ago, this same day is celebrated as our "ARAW NG KAGITINGAN"... seven years ago on this same day, it is not a celebration but instead a day of grief and sadness because we lost our most beloved patriarch... JOSE "PEPING" SAMSON. Come to think of it... being a war veteran and a life survivor - the day he passed away fits a true blodded guerilla!!!
Well, eversince Nanay and Tatay were young, they were fighters and survivors... a rags to riches story, a young love that stood time.
Tatay, known as "jope" to some, "peping" to some is our Eddie Garcia look alike... strict but loving. He was JP's spoiler... He was our disciplinarian at the same time, our "police chief" - we would always come running to him if we like to make "sumbong" anything. Tatay's voice was like a thunder roar... we are all silenced when he yells.
O
One story that stayed on my mind a while ago is; while me, kuya Jeje and Clarissa was in the room this evening, with the "Samsonites" (kids)... we tried scolding them because they were all jumping on the bed, running in the whole house, screaming - things we actually did like 20 years ago - when Tatay was still alive!!! we all just told them to stop, and told them  that if Tatay was there, They would be beaten with broomsticks or softbrooms!!! and the kids continued asking questions about Tatay and we gladly told them how Tatay was... 

It's sad to think that this little ones are unfortunate they were not able to meet the real "Samson" that raised their fathers!!! 


Tatay.. we miss you and we love you so much... you are never forgotten!!!

pigment of my memory

just saying...

Every love affair has their own story.

I guess we are nearing our death.

Or maybe, this is the phase where we will die and get resurrected

And be what we used to be – in love and happy.

Or maybe this is the part that I am dreaming

And hoping that all these are not true.

That we are still happy.

That we are still going to be happy.

I used to have a folder of poems of how happy we are

How much we love each other

How in love we were…

A compilation of our happiest feelings

They were reminders of the kind of love we were sharing

Maybe they are our promises that we will stay that way

Or maybe, reminders that if we no longer have that state

We should fight for our love over and over again…

Now I just realized, those poems I’ve written for us

Are maybe meant to stay on those papers

Just a written pigment of my memory

For I have to face what is real

That we are not happy anymore

The love might still be there

But I guess the rest is gone

Just like a dream
I can’t remember them,
when I opened my eyes to reality.

NEVER ON TIME

Just saying...

No one can ever tell when can be the last time we can say how much we love someone.

We can be ignoring days, hours and even minutes that just runs and pass by us.

When can too late be just too late? When is late really late?

I have ignored time and people in my lifetime...

I have learned life lessons the hard way... sometimes in a very personal way also.

During my younger years in school, I used to read stories with supposedly moral lessons in the end.

My assignments would always have the question, what is the moral lesson of the story???

Now I begin to ask myself, I do not have any stories to read...

I have my own now to make.

I do not have characters anymore to analyze and judge...

I have "me" now and my own character and values for that matter to watch for...

I have to guard my own self... my language, my actions, my decisions most importantly...

Now I can only find "regrets" in my own vocabulary.

But somewhere I am longing to see the words - faith, hope, maybe love in the end... and farther more, Respect.

Now, what is left of my life??

I am losing time, I lost my dad and with pains and still with tears that I will reminisce my few years with him.

I was planning to write more about him but I cannot...

Still after almost 6 years... I still can't even get over his death, much more talk about us...

I miss him so much...

It kills me missing him so much!!!

I always say, we can never accept losing someone....

The most we could do is just learn to get used to it each day that we have lost them.

It was too late for me to miss him.

It was too late for the kisses I have showered him during that painful 4am I lost him.

It was too late for me when I hugged his picture so tight on the burial procession!

I was late for loving him...

I pity myself that I can never get that time back...

Actually I have never forgiven myself.

I hate myself for the times I've hated him.

Actually I still have never forgiven myself.

I still cannot forget.

There are others that even without the same predicaments have wasted the same amount of time...

not showing how much they value their loved ones.

But why? What is stopping you?

What is taking you so long?

But sadly there are others, that even if how much they have shown their love...

They were still too late, too early,

Never on time... never ready to lose someone...

sadly, that something so good can be taken away from them...

Why does people always ask the "why" and "why me" questions???

because they do not hold time... no one does actually...

because no one knows the answers.

because maybe, no one dared to ask it again

because they are afraid they might be answered… the next time they asked?

no one owns time...

no one can control time...

no one knows God...

no one can control God.

maybe that is why we always say, that no matter what name we call Him

what matters is just we believe.

we believe to the most powerful being...

we trust even without personal appearance

we listen even without a phone call

we obey even without direct orders.

how can anyone really explain that time is gold but patience is a virtue?

Was it really just a joke that actually made perfect sense?

is the book of St. Peter true? do we really all have timelines and life spans?

when are we good enough? when is enough enough?

Is “no regrets” really an inspiring motto?

I was just too late… Was I really just late?

 Or it wasn’t really meant to be?

I guess, one thing is just proven true – MOVING ON, MOVING FORWARD.

Because we are never sure that each of our day has always tomorrows.