A woman's blog of Life - and living it Wisely!!

LIVE - LOVE - LAUGH - EAT - PRAY - LEARN - SURVIVE - THRIVE - INSPIRE -- and blog all of it!

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Chances

I failed a lot of times.
I made mistakes. I have lots of regrets.
I miss my daddy. I have not moved on from his passing.
I cry in all of the movies with scenes with daddies in it.
I cry when I hear songs that he likes. I still cry so hard when I see all his favorite things.
I still ask for forgiveness.And I Don't think I will ever be forgiven.
I hurt him so much. I disappointed him so much.
I long for that chance again to show him how much I love him.

I am a failure.

People say I am smart and I always know what to do.
But that is not me anymore.
I am tired.
If not only for this one single soul who needs me in her life...
I am giving up. Since I am no good. But in her eyes, I am the best.
So maybe at least, just her at least...
I will try not to disappoint her.
I will hold on to this chance to prove my worth to her.
To not commit the same mistakes again.

I will try not to fail again.

My heart is not ok.
There is no more denying that my heart is hurt.
And tired. Perhaps.
My heart is giving up.
Literally and figuratively.
I loved so much it hurts.
I am loved so much... It hurts.
Love equals hatred.
Mistakes are not forgiven.

I lost my chances.

I thank my lucky stars for everything.
I am not well liked for sure. By a lot.
Even my fb posts are not well liked.
I know I have a few, that I've touched lives.
I know someday, I'll have a few who'd smile for me.
Laugh with me. Be proud of me.
I know I Have been true, brave and happy.
I don't care if they stare, or if they step back.
I will still be me. Fat and frank!

Even if it is too late. I'll try to change my fate.
For my grounded wounded heart, I am fighting.
This time, Im claiming my last chance.
This time it is gonna be me!
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