happiness

just saying...

frm google

frm google

how hard can this be?
how hard can i find my own peace of mind?
im in deep pain
im really hurting
i am not even proud of what i become...
i know it wil take time before i can come to terms with my own misery...

im loosing my grip to hold on to what is left of me..

im not sure anymore of who i am and who i want to be..

im feeling low all the time, and if want to feel high, i push my limits.

im in my extremes coz im already numb, maybe passive, maybe densed

of what could be the truth...

truth that i keep on denying to myself.

truth that hurts...

hurts that changed me...

frm google

i would like to trade my soul

for happiness...

what ever it takes

even if takes my whole life away..

just wanna smile.. whole heartedly...

new found friend

just saying...

i found a new friend..she is totally the opposite of me
it is a nice feeling that we get along regardless of the positons that we have.
it is nice to know that we are both open minded and both has respect for each other as a person
to survive the "friendship".

i appreciate that she appreciates me...
she trusts me, she cares for me.
she confides with me, controls me...
scolds me and cheer me up...

thank you for being nice and i really want to have a better and deeper frinedship
in and out of this box...

here i go again

just saying...

i cant escape
i cant wait
here i go again
in pain...

the words are simple, it was a simple "no"
but i cant escape the actions that yells a big "yes"
i am in bliss of happiness
and in an ocean of confusions,
i can not accept the answer in my face
because of a lie that lies in my heart.

i wanna go out of this mess
but i dont wanna loose these smiles
ill stay where i am now
even if it meant killing my own feelings
and rightful thining
i don't care anymore of what's coming
i just want
what i have now!!!!
what makes me happy now..
i am right...
i am wrong..
i just knew how hard it can get to be in this place...

SWEET COMPLICATION

just saying...

How can i answer a question
a question that actually was never asked
how can i touch you
when were together only in my dreams

you're the hardest kind of love
a love that can never be mine
and if ever you will be mine
you'll be my sweetest complication

how can i love you
when i already lost you?
how can you love me
when you're letting me go?
you're so near yet so far...

you're the biggest risk of my life
you're the mistake i'm wiling to commit
you're the scariest part of me
a part of me that makes me forget me...