Just saying...
No one can ever tell when can be the last time we can say how much we love someone.
We can be ignoring days, hours and even minutes that just runs and pass by us.
When can too late be just too late? When is late really late?
I have ignored time and people in my lifetime...
I have learned life lessons the hard way... sometimes in a very personal way also.
During my younger years in school, I used to read stories with supposedly moral lessons in the end.
My assignments would always have the question, what is the moral lesson of the story???
Now I begin to ask myself, I do not have any stories to read...
I have my own now to make.
I do not have characters anymore to analyze and judge...
I have "me" now and my own character and values for that matter to watch for...
I have to guard my own self... my language, my actions, my decisions most importantly...
Now I can only find "regrets" in my own vocabulary.
But somewhere I am longing to see the words - faith, hope, maybe love in the end... and farther more, Respect.
Now, what is left of my life??
I am losing time, I lost my dad and with pains and still with tears that I will reminisce my few years with him.
I was planning to write more about him but I cannot...
Still after almost 6 years... I still can't even get over his death, much more talk about us...
I miss him so much...
It kills me missing him so much!!!
I always say, we can never accept losing someone....
The most we could do is just learn to get used to it each day that we have lost them.
It was too late for me to miss him.
It was too late for the kisses I have showered him during that painful 4am I lost him.
It was too late for me when I hugged his picture so tight on the burial procession!
I was late for loving him...
I pity myself that I can never get that time back...
Actually I have never forgiven myself.
I hate myself for the times I've hated him.
Actually I still have never forgiven myself.
I still cannot forget.
There are others that even without the same predicaments have wasted the same amount of time...
not showing how much they value their loved ones.
But why? What is stopping you?
What is taking you so long?
But sadly there are others, that even if how much they have shown their love...
They were still too late, too early,
Never on time... never ready to lose someone...
sadly, that something so good can be taken away from them...
Why does people always ask the "why" and "why me" questions???
because they do not hold time... no one does actually...
because no one knows the answers.
because maybe, no one dared to ask it again
because they are afraid they might be answered… the next time they asked?
no one owns time...
no one can control time...
no one knows God...
no one can control God.
maybe that is why we always say, that no matter what name we call Him
what matters is just we believe.
we believe to the most powerful being...
we trust even without personal appearance
we listen even without a phone call
we obey even without direct orders.
how can anyone really explain that time is gold but patience is a virtue?
Was it really just a joke that actually made perfect sense?
is the book of St. Peter true? do we really all have timelines and life spans?
when are we good enough? when is enough enough?
Is “no regrets” really an inspiring motto?
I was just too late… Was I really just late?
Or it wasn’t really meant to be?
I guess, one thing is just proven true – MOVING ON, MOVING FORWARD.
Because we are never sure that each of our day has always tomorrows.
