People always say not to lose hope. That tomorrow is a brighter day. The sun will come out tomorrow. For every storm, comes the rainbow. There's always a silver lining behind every dark clouds. And yes, tomorrow is another day.
I just hope that my tomorrow is brighter and better. And I wish all of my tomorrows would be just the same. But they say, tomorrow is another day? What if is there is one day you want to just last and stay the same? And what if we just want to rush to all of our better days ahead?
For now, i'm leaving my tomorrows alone. Because I need to change my present.
I have never been truly happy in the past six years of my life. Unfortunately, I am denying myself the harsh truth of doing the right thing that I am supposed to do. Well, I guess it always starts there - denial! Sometimes I ask myself, why am I really still here.
Last night, I got the call that I was trying to hide my self from. Finally, I got the perfect message (sarcastically), that all that I was hoping, expecting and praying for will never happen. It finally came out in the open. It was so hard to accept the truth, but at least, I heard it already and it was so clear enough that it passed through my ears easily and it traveled fast to my heart and brain.
I don't know what to do. It was all like in the movies that everything is flashing back in my memories - in my passive brain that is! I can see scenarios that happened before, I can hear in my thoughts past conversations. It is as if I'm watching my own movie.
And it finally dawned on me - I am hopeless. I need to do something. I must do something to end my own misery. Even if it starts in creating another misery.
You see, first, I lost one good business. Second, I might be losing one thing that was lost already - I just didn't know.
I want to start anew. First priority: Love God above all. (sorry for the delay, my dear Lord) Second: Love thy self! Third: Use mind not heart! Fourth: Conquer my own world. Fifth: Make them live in regrets! (lol)