Last night, I got the call that I was trying to hide my self from. Finally, I got the perfect message (sarcastically), that all that I was hoping, expecting and praying for will never happen. It finally came out in the open. It was so hard to accept the truth, but at least, I heard it already and it was so clear enough that it passed through my ears easily and it traveled fast to my heart and brain.
I don't know what to do. It was all like in the movies that everything is flashing back in my memories - in my passive brain that is! I can see scenarios that happened before, I can hear in my thoughts past conversations. It is as if I'm watching my own movie.
And it finally dawned on me - I am hopeless. I need to do something. I must do something to end my own misery. Even if it starts in creating another misery.
You see, first, I lost one good business. Second, I might be losing one thing that was lost already - I just didn't know.
I want to start anew. First priority: Love God above all. (sorry for the delay, my dear Lord) Second: Love thy self! Third: Use mind not heart! Fourth: Conquer my own world. Fifth: Make them live in regrets! (lol)